Diary Of A Coach.com

You should hear me play piano

April 26th, 2007 at 8:39 am (Coaching, Coaching Clients, Coach Training, Executive coaching)

Well a very special hello to Jane from Canada and to Alice! There I was thinking that the whole world reads Diary of a Coach and in fact it appears only two people do! Well it’s a start. From little acorns and all that… Seriously your comments are appreciated and do please keep them coming. Interesting thought from Alice though about fear of being judged and wanting. I understand your point about the fear of being judged but not sure I totally understand what you mean about the wanting piece. Please do explain.

The fear of being judged leads me to question who you think may be judging you? A common theme does keep appearing when I talk to coaches about this. I know many who are fantastic coaches with a huge amount to offer and with different areas of expertise. Ask them though to sell themselves or their services and they pretty much have a cardiac arrest. WHY? Some would maybe argue that they don’t have basic selling skills, but my instinct tells me it is something deeper. If we perceive a gap in ourselves, our abilities and our offerings, I believe on one level that is what we portray to the world.
 

Some coaches ask me how can I coach someone in an area that I know nothing about? Which raises the whole difference between knowledge based coaching versus commitment based coaching. And it highlights for me the differences between coaching, mentoring and teaching. I could coach someone who has a life long goal to play the piano but I couldn’t mentor them or teach them. In fact as their coach we would probably agree the first action step for them would be to identify a great piano teacher.
 

And for you Alice I respectfully suggest you start offering chocolate at your shared learning meetings and see what happens….  

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Earth to coaches…

April 18th, 2007 at 8:55 am (Coaching, Coaching Clients, Teamwork, Coach Training, Executive coaching)

I got together with a group of coaches at the weekend. We meet every couple of months with the idea of assisting each other if necessary with information on latest trends etc., and to ask for help and ideas if we are finding certain coaching assignments challenging. 

But, as we were sitting in my house nibbling on my remaining Easter eggs, it struck me that not many coaches seem willing either to ask for specific help or discuss their own work (obviously within the confines of confidentiality). Certainly on leadership programmes I have worked on, contribution is a pillar which supports effective leadership. So how come coaches feel they have to appear to know everything and don’t want to seem uninformed or incompetent? Is it an issue of trust? Is it that we don’t want to contribute to each others progress? Should I have bought cheese bites? 

So let us practice what we preach: let’s reach out, ask for help and support, trust each other, operate from a mentality of abundance – there is enough work out there for everyone. I am the first to admit that even with many years of coaching and experience under my belt, I benefit hugely from others input, discussions and ideas. 

So over to you. Some comments please. Anything at all that you as coaches would like to ask. Anything at all that you are experiencing that may be useful for others to know in terms of things that have worked well for you and maybe things that haven’t, and the learning you have taken from that. 

IF NOT NOW, WHEN? IF NOT YOU, WHO? I await your comments…    

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Raising the bar on personal goals

April 11th, 2007 at 11:08 am (Coaching, Coaching Clients, Teamwork, Coach Training, Executive coaching)

Easter has come and gone, but  brought with it a lovely long weekend, sunshine and loads of the dreaded stuff beginning with c…… The weather was so nice that I had to put my Easter eggs in the fridge, sitting in there staring at me every time I went to get a diet coke or a low cal yoghourt. Those eggs were just begging to be eaten. So I obliged.

My project group are doing well and gathering momentum with their goals. We are already nearly approaching the halfway point in their 10 week assignments. As their coach, now is the time for me to be looking to raise the bar for them. Always an interesting point in coaching and I think an essential one too:  break the bigger goal down into bite sized pieces so they can get some early wins under their belt.

Then it is a matter of timing. Raise the bar too soon and they can get despondent and give up. Leave it too long before you raise it and they can get bored, especially the ones who have had previous experience of finding it challenging seeing a project through to completion. Also essential in my opinion is that everyone in the group acknowledges their successes and has some kind of reward system in place. It doesn’t have to be anything major, but it is useful to get them into the habit of recognising how far they have already come. I liken it to skiing: sometimes we are so focussed on that end point at the bottom of the ski slope (usually a bar with gluwein aplenty) that we forget to stop on the way down the slope and look what terrain we have already successfully covered.

What is also interesting to me at this stage of the coaching assignment is that the coaching relationship has developed and trust has been established. Once you reach this point (and it is an art not a science knowing when this has happened), I am especially mindful of tuning into the seemingly “throw away” comments towards the end of conversations. A greater depth to their goals or new ones that we have not spoken about before are coming to the surface. I put it down to these people connecting with what is important, having some success already and having confidence in themselves to achieve their dreams.

Some really interesting personal lifelong ambitions have been raised by a couple of the people in the group this week. And once again I am reminded of what a privilege it is to be a catalyst in their journey. If you are even remotely interested in coaching I urge you not to hesitate. Do whatever it takes. And commit to someone else’s success. It is amazing.

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Enlightened leadership (and chocolate)

April 3rd, 2007 at 12:30 pm (Coaching, Coaching Clients, Teamwork, Coach Training, Executive coaching)

Week three is here already and the stock piles of chocolate in the shops is overwhelming. Not such good news for those people I am coaching who have goals to lose weight and to develop a six pack. And there was even news on Crimewatch last night that a lorry with some thirty thousand Easter Eggs had been hijacked. Now I know I love chocolate but I swear I am not guilty. Beware if you are offered job lots of Easter Eggs.

Interesting this process of emotional connection with goals which is going on with the groups I am working with. Two people in my group of 10 have produced more results in a week than they have in the last six months. The ex lawyer is busy with a renewed sense of purpose, rather than busy being busy. With the suggestions and contributions from the rest of the project team, he looks on track to achieve all he dreamed of and more.

Another of the 10 also created results in two weeks he has been aiming towards for the last 10 months. When we reflected together what had worked well, he said that without doubt it was because he now has the clarity of to what was really important to him. Previously he had been either procrastinating or stuck in something of an arrogant mindset expending energy in areas where he had no control. By tweaking slightly and looking at what he had either control or influence over and recognising where he had no control and further making choices around where he expends his energy, the turnaround in events has been amazing. Interestingly he has decided to apply this principle to his love life to see what results that might create…..

The arts in business group I mentioned last week have reported various success stories too. The common thread is that they have all noticed a beneficial shift in the context of how they do things as opposed to what they do. Without exception all are more laser-like in both their written and spoken communication. They are much more able to connect with their ‘audiences’ in an engaging way as a result of learning the techniques great actors and musicians use before major performances. Each individual in the group now really has a much deeper connection to the responsibility that authentic leadership carries.

On a personal note I am in favour in all things connected to enlightened leadership and anything that reminds us in our fast paced, consumer driven, ever changing technological world of what it is to be human. To see the possibility and potential in ourselves and to nurture that in others is - I think - what makes the world go around. That and the occasional trip to Thorntons obviously.

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